Red Flags Behind Her Eyes
Contains the spoilers you wish you knew before you watched the show so you could’ve picked something else.
Tags: #Netflixreview #limitedseries #notathriller #supernatural #redflags #behindhereyes #gaslighting #antagonist #stereotypes #problematictropes #dontwatch #Films
Behind Her Eyes follows Louise, David, and Adele; three unlucky people, unfortunate enough to run into each other in London. Louise is a single mother, secretary at a psychiatrist’s office and quickly becomes entangled in the messy, complicated relationship that is David and Adele’s marriage or rather David and ‘Adele’. David and ‘Adele’ are looking for a fresh start after a mysterious incident in Brighton, but their history and individual relationships with Louise quickly turn deadly. A friend from the past, Rob, haunts their every step; quite literally it turns out, because in episode five this takes a sharp left turn away from the thriller you snuggled under your blanket to enjoy and found its way into supernatural fiction.
We are only going to be mentioning the Netflix adaptation of the book here, not the actual novel itself. We did indeed try to read the book too. But, let's be honest, it was equally... interesting and thus did not warrant to be finished.
David, Rob, and Louise all display several diverse “red flag” behaviours. “Red Flags” are unhealthy or abusive traits and behaviours people display. If you notice three or more red flags in another person, it might be a sign to step away from the relationship; just like our protagonist should have done five minutes into episode one. Our observations are by no means an extensive list, but will provide you with a well intended overview of why it may be in your best interest to never watch this series to begin with. Yes, it’s that bad.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩Have you heard of divorce?🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
David groomed a 17 year young woman when he was in his (probably) mid-20s. Grooming is bad; it is never good. Have you considered dating people your own age? Or at the very least people that are (or maybe have not just become) legal adults?
David drugs his wife against her will. He literally waits for her to swallow the pills before he leaves the house in the morning. He shouldn’t even be allowed to write prescriptions for family members, but here we are, creepy kitchen cabinet full of pill bottles.
David has an affair with his secretary. Not only is this a clear exploitation of his power, but he evidently would rather sleep with other people than actually address his personal problems with his wife. Have you heard of a divorce if you are unhappily married? No? Ok.
David is controlling. He calls his wife several times a day, demanding to know where she is (they still have a *landline*) and who she is with. Controlling and dismissive behaviour is a form of coercive control.
David is gaslighting his wife by dismissing her reality and concerns. David is also dismissive of his wife. He ignores her at home and doesn’t reply to her ‘I love you's. He displays several signs of abusive behaviour.
David forces his secretary to quit because he cannot fire a woman for being friends with his wife. Firing people on the premise of being kept in the dark about friendships is not exactly a legal and healthy coping mechanism.
David is a fairly wealthy, cis gendered, straight, white man. This makes him feel like he is entitled to everything and anyone, including getting away with his abusive behaviour towards his wife.
David is a psychiatrist who doesn’t go to therapy. We say it again, he is a psychiatrist who doesn’t go to therapy. Holier than thou much?
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩Putting yourself first - learn to say no.🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Louise is sleeping with her boss. She continues to sleep with him, after befriending his wife. Now, she is also screwing with her friend’s husband, behind her back, while pretending to look out for the friend. The husband never leaves; unless the wife is dead - which in this case…
Louise has an emotional affair with her lover’s wife and continues with the friendship even after discovering David and ‘Adele’ are married. She questions both relationships, while never fully being able to build trust.
Louise, even though she works in a psychiatrist's office with mentally unstable people, does not know the number of emergency services! Listen, we can’t explain it either, it makes no sense. Common sense flew out the window, much like her astral projection.
Louise neglects her child. She is too preoccupied with her sexual and emotional affairs than actually paying attention to the tiny human she birthed. A month in France is too much but leaving him with the neighbour across the hall so you can hunt down white rich people isn’t? Ok.
Louise goes to Brighton to hunt down a woman that both David and ‘Adele’ have mentioned mysteriously. Why? No honestly, please tell us, because she didn’t need to. What’s the logic here?
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩Just stop it. Lying on your bed with shoes on is NOT ok. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Rob befriends women for the sole purpose of personal gain; namely, taking over their life. Evidently you cannot possibly be friends with a woman as a man, unless you have a hidden agenda or are gaining something in return (NOT friendship, we mean like money, guys).
Rob commits identity theft, not once, but twice! Same method, foolproof: gain their trust, teach them how to astral project and just switch bodies.
Rob murders two women. This is step four of the previous red flag. Having a well documented drug addiction to blame is an optional step.
Rob is the pathological liar to end all pathological liars. He lies about EVERYTHING; who he is, what he wants, why he does what he does. Have you considered telling the truth?
Rob spies on ‘his’ husband. ALL. THE. TIME. He doesn’t work, so what else does he have to do? Oh, that’s right! Befriend the other woman having an affair with said husband.
Rob, like ‘his’ husband, is manipulative and deceitful. David is unaware that he is in fact married to a man who has taken over his fiance's body and life.
Rob is a rapist. Having sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you or who thinks you are someone completely different (than who you actually are) is a form of sexual violence. Yeah. We don’t mean this in the sense of having to reveal all your dark secrets, we mean when you astral project into your friend and then kill them to take over their life and then not tell anyone and then marry their fiance. We mean like that.
Rob is obsessive. He is constantly comparing his life to other people’s circumstances to the point of completely wanting to be them. TO BE THEM, not like them. Read points two and three again.
Rob has no intention of working on himself. He sees something he wants and instead of talking it out with his therapist husband, he kills the other person after taking over their body. It’s way more effort than going to therapy.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩Writing is hard, we get it. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
The narrative uses gay people as the villain. Your homophobia wasn’t welcome in 2017 when the book came out and it certainly isn’t appropriate in 2021 on Netflix.
The narrative uses poor people as the villain. Your classism wasn’t welcome in 2017 when the book came out and it certainly isn’t appropriate in 2021 on Netflix.
The narrative uses people with psychological problems as the villain. Using mental health as a stigma for criminal behaviour wasn’t welcome in 2017 when the book came out and it certainly isn’t appropriate in 2021 on Netflix.
The narrative uses people with substance abuse problems as the villain. Using drug addiction as a stigma for criminal behaviour wasn’t welcome in 2017 when the book came out and it certainly isn’t appropriate in 2021 on Netflix.
The narrative was marketed as a thriller! Yet it started as a weird, bad romance, but like with Christian Grey vibes. Then in the eleventh hour, it turns into a supernatural bonkers nonsense story about spirit projecting in the forest. Writing is hard, we get it, BUT have you considered beta readers.
The narrative concludes wanting the audience to sympathise with the abusive husband, since he is also a victim in his own right. However, having shit things happen to you, doesn’t excuse you being a fucking asshole.
🏳🏳 She deserved better 🏳🏳
Adele did nothing wrong. She was groomed by her 20-something boyfriend when she was 17. Her parents died in a fire, after which she was committed to a mental health institute. She was violently murdered by someone she thought of as her best friend. She had her identity stolen by said best friend, and made out to be a jealous, lying, and distrusting wife.
Adele tried to help her friend. She offered him a place to stay, support, and sympathy. She seemed like a genuinely nice person; without prejudice towards others, despite her privileged background.
🏳🏳 Bonus: What to do when you suspect domestic violence: 🏳🏳
The drug addicted patient offered help to ‘Adele’ and reported his suspicions of David after seeing ‘Adele’ with a black eye (and she was intentionally acting in a way to encourage such suspicions). Even if it turns out that your suspicions were unfounded, it is always good to speak up when you think someone is abusing their partner. Even if it is your therapist.
Adam, the poor kid, immediately knew ‘Louise’ was not his actual mother. I mean, Rob was acting a bit like aliens from Men in Black so I think the ex-husband should have noticed too, but we all know children are more observant and less wrapped up in their own drama.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩Don’t astral project!🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Using supernatural plot twists as your ‘explanation’ without even hinting at the possibility from the start is just not good writing. Typically, the science fiction and thriller sections are separated in a bookstore for a reason. Yes, there is crossover. This is also, typically, told to people before they invest their time and energy into your story. Don’t do this. Tell the reader ALL or the MAIN genres you are writing in.
As we’ve mentioned, having bad things happen to you, may explain your shit behaviour but it certainly does not excuse you being a manipulative and abusive asshole. Pretending like trauma can act as a justification only perpetuates the idea that abusers do not have full responsibility for their own actions. This implicitly supports victim blaming attitudes. Do better.
If you notice three or more red flag behaviours in the same person, this is a great sign to walk away from that relationship. If you are unsure, talk to an appropriate support service; they can help you out. You don’t have to ‘stick it out’. It’s not your fault.
Don’t watch the show. We wish we hadn’t. Yes, it was this bad.
Image Credit
Behind Her Eyes [@BehindHerEyesTV] (2021a). "What did you think of their friendship?#BehindHerEyes#BehindHerEyesNetflix" 2 March, https://twitter.com/BehindHerEyesTV/status/1366807761992957958?fbclid=IwAR3VZ9TSaMESz86iUpwmTWpBO4-eIQq8289oOv9SuJf793AZsUt5BKBULVc
Behind Her Eyes [@BehindHerEyesTV] (2021b). "Comment one word to describe these two as a couple PS. No bias over here. #BehindHerEyes#BehindHerEyesNetflix" 6 March, https://twitter.com/BehindHerEyesTV/status/1368297641243774977?fbclid=IwAR0a0C6y3OqhuuP9PpKe8kMxemxxpeHmqxEg5hxP7mjRvcXCK8C1p3PeaNk
Behind Her Eyes [@BehindHerEyesTV] (2021c). "Now tell me which one you like best before I start screaming? #BehindHerEyes#BehindHerEyesNetflix" 3 April, https://twitter.com/BehindHerEyesTV/status/1378422371921563649?fbclid=IwAR1CFfG0gAEPV4Wsq7MA6YFl6hfdxg3QoN6Sx1vNrX-lve-MZ0Z8KiS9oAc